looking through my archive like YES. this is perfect. this truly captures whatever bullshit mood i was in at that exact time hahaPosted 5 days ago with 0 notes | reblog
often i find myself wondering if these are my best years and if I’m spending them wisely. maybe i should be out partying all the time. maybe i should be spending every paycheck on rent to feel truly ‘independent’, and have my money go to bullshit like WATER - really, why do bills exist for trash and water…. should i be waking up in a different guy’s bed each morning? should i be traveling to the most romantic cities the world has to offer? (yes, this is always yes) so what am i doing?
i do believe these are very important years. sometimes i feel like i’m spending them very wisely, slowly crossing off important items from my to-do list of life on the way. i’m investing in my future, making sure i’m progressing and not wasting away. but i wonder if this is a bit too responsible for 22… if you know me, responsible really isn’t the word that comes to mind so this is never a concern for me. i feel like i’ve lived life well enough already and i’m in early retirement.
i moved out to go to college at 17 and lived with randoms for the next four years, essentially doing whatever i wanted. even then, i wasn’t wylin out. i don’t think thats what I’ve ever wanted to do. i do think I’ve done a loooot of partying and crazy stuff thus far, so that is not lacking in my life. i don’t feel like I’m missing out on random dating or one night stands because even when i was single i wasn’t into it. i’m not interested in vegas, at all (i know…) because it just seems so creepy and techno-y and its just not me. i live for brew crawls and hole in the wall bars where people share their greatest stories over bottomless beers. i enjoy getting a lil wiggly, without a doubt, which i still do a little too often.
i still have MANY drunken nights. i still waste most of my paychecks on clothes and beer to remind myself not to be too responsible ;) i do have a boyfriend who is teaching me many things i was ignorant about before, mainly love.. and kindness, truth, honesty, blah blah. most importantly, i find myself even more independent than when i had no one to depend on. i work. and for the first time in my life, it isn’t for money. i am getting paid much better than i ever have in life, thank god, but i would do it for nothing. i’m entering the lives of families in the most intimate way and helping them learn and grow while they help me do the same. i am beginning graduate school in a few weeks and thats really exciting. when i was younger, i just expected everything to go very smoothly and i didn’t realize how hard it really is until i had to put in all the time and effort. getting accepted to grad school is fucking HARD. lots of headaches involved. now i realize how lucky i am to even have this opportunity at 22. above all, i’m just so happy to be able to learn again. obviously, we’re constantly learning - but theres just something about being in school and being exposed to different perspectives and theories that make you feel truly enlightened.
anyway, everything is pretty much falling into place, but i still wonder if i should be out dabbling in different things just to live and be young and embark in meaningless explorations. at the end of the day, i figure i have the rest of my life to explore and experience all the world has to offer and then i’ll have paid vacations and a few more bucks to throw around. ah, to be young… right?Posted 5 days ago with 1 note | reblog
Posted 1 week ago with 54,785 notes | reblog
I’m attracted to intelligence. Not the book smart type of intelligence. I could care less whether you’ve gone to college or how much money you make because of it. I like intelligent conversations that make me think even hours after it’s ended. I soak up words from radical minds.